The Ultimate Fear

As-Salam-o-Alaikum!

I hope you're all doing well. I'm fine, Alhamdulillah.


I've been wondering and for the past week or so thinking very much about the fears within me. Then i've thought about the fears other may have, and are all our fears related?
To each is own, may be true, but i do believe there is the ultimate fear that we all share as common.
The ultimate fear for me is not the fear of death, but rather How it will occur. Where will i be? What willl i be doing when my time arrives? Will you, my loved ones, or anyone that knows me, know that i have departed? Will i die when i'm so far from all those who know me? Will i die doing a good deed? Will i die in a most humiliating manner? Will I? Will I? Will I......

Doesn't the fear of how you will die, seem like the ultimate fear. When anyone goes outside the house, have you ever thought? What if........something happens to them while they're still out. You'll never know...

So what's one to do? Pray? Dua? Hope? Cry endlessly because the fear just won't leave you? Toss and turn with a million thoughts rumbling through your mind while you lay there, calm as ever, yet the storm inside your head seems never-ending. You lay there wondering, if you'll even see the next morning light. Have i done enough today to prepare me, if next breath be my last?
What exactly do you do? Do you really have a choice to ignore and pretend the fear is not there? Or do you get up shaking with the fear, and pray for forgiveness. Pray for a better way in which you leave this world, leaving behind all that ye thought was to remain, but little do we realize that it's all but just a show for some time, and then we depart to return to the realm that is everlasting.

I pain, it tears my heart to shreds just thinking about it. I can't help but drop on my knees and just beg for forgiveness of my sins.

I pray to Allah (SWT) that my time comes when i am surrounded by all those who love me. I pray that my loved ones depart in the presence of me and other loved ones. I pray that Allah (SWT) strengthens my heart, body and soul, so that i may act in ways that ensure a better hereafter. I pray that you all return to the lord in a most humble manner, in a manner that which is best for us all.

"He is the One who puts you to death during the night, and knows even the smallest of your actions during the day. He resurrects you every morning, until your life span is fulfilled, then to Him is your ultimate return. He will then inform you of everything you had done." 6:60